If you are a parent preparing to take your child or children overseas, chances are you've had a least a little anxiety about possible risks associated with life overseas. And you've likely experienced some unsolicited comments or advice from others about your life choice to move your family abroad.
It is true that there is increased risk, but many of the principles for crisis management and contingency planning are really important for any family to work through, regardless of where they choose to live. Being aware of the risks and taking steps to mitigate risk may put you in a better position than if you had you not gone overseas and had to think through these.
Below are some of the most important categories. There is space on your Individual Checklist to write down these plans, but don't forget to also have these conversations with your kiddos in age-appropriate ways.
Trusted Caregivers
- Identify who are safe caregivers in your ministry location. These are people who may watch your kids for a date night, or someone who is hired to watch them on a more regular basis.
- Identify a primary and secondary caregiver for your children in your ministry context. This is who would care for your children for a longer stretch, in the event that both parents are unable to provide care for a duration.
- Identify a primary and secondary caregiver for your children in the United States. This is who would care for your children if both parents were unable to provide care for a longer period of time and children needed to return to the US. There may also be a circumstance where the US caregiver travels to the ministry location to stay with the children.
- Consider using a "safe word" with your children. If your children attend a local school, this word would be shared with any individual who has been given permission to pick them up. It could also be used for other scenarios, and may be changed from time-to-time.
Abuse Awareness
- Some cultures have different standards for what type of physical touch is appropriate for small children. Define your expectations and communicate them clearly to any local caregiver.
- Be proactive in talking to your children about safe vs. unsafe touch. There are resources for this at the end of the page.
- Do not leave your children alone with any adult that is not on your trusted caregivers list.
- Be attentive to any sudden or drastic changes in your child's demeanor.
- Avoid letting your children play on cell phones or tablets of other adults or older children, where they may be accidentally exposed to inappropriate content.
Mental Health
- Prioritize your own mental health and work/life balance, so that you have capacity to be present for your children.
- Do an annual family debrief, even if nothing "bad" happened.
- Seek out spaces for your kids to have meaningful peer relationships and hobbies.
- Consider the ages of your children in regards to the types of violence, trauma, and suffering that they are exposed to in your ministry location. Seek wise counsel in this area.
- Be attentive to any sudden or drastic changes in your child's demeanor.
Lost/Abduction
- Teach your child to stay close to where they got lost, instead of trying to find you. Assure them that you will find them.
- Have your child memorize your phone number and address.
- Talk through how to safely approach a stranger to use a phone to contact you (i.e. go inside a nearby public place like a restaurant or grocery store and talk to an employee).
- Purchase an Air Tag, or similar device, and keep it in your child's bag or on a bracelet.
Resources
God Made Me (8 book series covering a variety of topics)
God's Design for Sex - (6 book series based on age)
TCKtraining.org - Research, workshops, curriculum, and debriefs to help parents navigate overseas life with their kiddos.
