FORMING A CARE TEAM

You already have categories of relationships, but maybe you’ve never thought about it before. Who do you call when you want to do something adventurous? Who do you turn to when you are having a rough day? Who can you be yourself around, because they have known you forever? Who would you ask for advice about your health, about your job, about parenting, or who to date? These are probably not all the same person! Similarly, once you get to the field no one person will be able to meet every aspect of  care for you.

 

As you form a care team, we’ve compiled the key categories to think through, as well as tips for identifying the right people (and letting them know you need them!) In the busyness of American culture, you may be tempted to feel like you are being a burden to others. Remember, this is an amazing opportunity for believers, who may not be able to go themselves, to have an active role in God’s mission overseas.

While each person will bring a unique contribution, here are some general quality to look for:


Your church may have a well-built structure for carrying for their international workers. If not, this is a great opportunity to work together and start something. 

 

  • Who is your key point of contact?
  • How often will you check-in?
  • What is the best way to communicate prayer requests?


Examples: Missions Pastor, Mission Committee Member, Elder, Advocacy Team leader

It is unrealistic to try to maintain every stateside relationship after moving overseas. However, a good friendship that allows you to be yourself can be a healing balm. Think of it as someone with whom you can laugh (and cry!) without judgment. These are mutual friendships, so make sure you are engaging with what is happening in their life, too! 

  • Which 1-2 relationships are most important for you to maintain?
  • How will you communicate?
  • How often will you communicate?


Examples: A stateside best friend, a friend serving in another country

These are your day-to-day people. Each team has its own dynamic and rhythms. Maybe you all live in one apartment complex. Maybe you live in adjacent cities. Maybe you work closely throughout the week or maybe you have individual work, but meet for fellowship. It’s okay to look different, but knowing what to expect and making sure you have adequate direction can help prevent hurt feelings, loneliness and conflict. Remember, you will also be part of the care team for your teammates! 

  • Who is your supervisor?
  • How often will you meet?
  • How will you meet (virtual/in-person)?
  • Who are your teammates?
  • How often will you meet?
  • What is the focus of those meetings?
  • With whom will you share daily struggles?

At some point, your needs will go beyond what your care team has the equipping or capacity to provide. If you think of your sending church and team as your primary care physicians, think of these as “specialists”. We highly encourage you to establish these relationships before launching. If you are used to seeing a stateside counselor, find out if they will be able to continue providing care when you are overseas. If not, we can help connect you to providers who specifically care for international workers.

  • Are there any other important mentor(s) in your life?
  • How will these relationships look after launching?
  • Who is your primary mental-health professional?
  • How often will you meet? (i.e. weekly, monthly, as needed)
  • Who is your primary doctor?
  • Will you still have access to this person once overseas (ex. through Teledoc)?
  • How will you access any current prescriptions after launching?
  • What are personal warning signs that you may need more help?
  • Have you communicated those signs to your care team?


Examples: A life coach, an older cross-cultural worker, a counselor, a spiritual director.

See International Counseling Resources.

You should go to the field expecting the enemy to attack your closest relationships, specifically your marriage and family. Additionally, most workers will find themselves without an older generation they can watch and from whom they can learn. You may have a hard time knowing what are “normal” struggles in these areas and what is amplified because of being in a foreign environment. You should seek out these relationships and begin meeting before you launch. For this area in particular, think of people who are at least a life stage ahead of you and have demonstrated godly faithfulness in their own lives.

  • Who will we talk to as a couple about our marriage?
  • Who will we talk to as a couple about parenting?
  • Who will we ask to pray specifically for our children? (Be sensitive when communicating your kids’ personal struggles to your whole newsletter)
  • Who will we talk to about specific TCK-related issues?

Examples: An older couple (stateside or on the field), TCK specialist, TCK debriefer, marriage/family counselor. See International Member Care Network

Once you are settled overseas, you can start identifying local relationships that are outside your immediate team. While there may be extra cultural barriers to overcome in these relationships, the benefit will be worth it as your new home starts to feel like home.

  • Who is a local friend to whom I can openly ask cultural questions?
  • Who is someone with whom I could hang out on a day off?
  • Who is another expat that I can connect with?
  • What is a “third space” where I can meet new people? (i.e. gym, hobby group, etc.)

Examples: A language tutor, a classmate, a neighbor, a person from church

You are an incredibly important part of your care team. In fact, the whole thing will fall apart if you are not an active participant. Maintaining connections will often take more initiative on your part. When others don’t hear from you, they may subtly start to assume that you are doing great and don’t need them. In addition to seeking out help, maintaining good rhythms in your own life are vital to longevity on the field.

  • What are de-stressing or life-giving activities?
  • How will you continue these on the field?
  • In a normal ministry season, what is your day off?
  • How does an ideal day look?
  • What are non-negotiable rhythms, even in stressful seasons or times of transition? 

 

Additional Tips