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You already have categories of relationships, but maybe you’ve never thought about it before. Who do you call when you want to do something adventurous? Who do you turn to when you are having a rough day? Who can you be yourself around, because they have known you forever? Who would you ask for advice about your health, about your job, about parenting, or who to date? These are probably not all the same person! Similarly, once you get to the field no one person will be able to meet every aspect of care for you.
As you form a care team, we’ve compiled the key categories to think through, as well as tips for identifying the right people (and letting them know you need them!) In the busyness of American culture, you may be tempted to feel like you are being a burden to others. Remember, this is an amazing opportunity for believers, who may not be able to go themselves, to have an active role in God’s mission overseas.
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Your church may have a well-built structure for carrying for their international workers. If not, this is a great opportunity to work together and start something.
Examples: Missions Pastor, Mission Committee Member, Elder, Advocacy Team leader |
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At some point, your needs will go beyond what your care team has the equipping or capacity to provide. If you think of your sending church and team as your primary care physicians, think of these as “specialists”. We highly encourage you to establish these relationships before launching. If you are used to seeing a stateside counselor, find out if they will be able to continue providing care when you are overseas. If not, we can help connect you to providers who specifically care for international workers.
Examples: A life coach, an older cross-cultural worker, a counselor, a spiritual director. See International Counseling Resources and International Member Care Network. |
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You should go to the field expecting the enemy to attack your closest relationships, specifically your marriage and family. Additionally, most workers will find themselves without an older generation they can watch and from whom they can learn. You may have a hard time knowing what are “normal” struggles in these areas and what is amplified because of being in a foreign environment. You should seek out these relationships and begin meeting before you launch. For this area in particular, think of people who are at least a life stage ahead of you and have demonstrated godly faithfulness in their own lives.
Examples: An older couple (stateside or on the field), TCK specialist, TCK debriefer, marriage/family counselor. See International Member Care Network |
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Once you are settled overseas, you can start identifying local relationships that are outside your immediate team. While there may be extra cultural barriers to overcome in these relationships, the benefit will be worth it as your new home starts to feel like home.
Examples: A language tutor, a classmate, a neighbor, a person from church |
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- Go for consistency over frequency. Consider setting aside a regular time every week to meet with one of your virtual people. Then try to work through your list at least once a quarter.
- Use a video messaging app like Marco Polo when your schedules just don’t seem to line up.
- Spend a few minutes preparing for a meeting.What do you want to make sure to talk about or ask? Is there anything you need to bring to the Lord before you bring to another person? This can help you utilize the time well.
- Keep a journal where you can jot notes from the call and review before you meet again.
- If an important person on your list does not have experience with cross-cultural ministry, invite them to read a book that gives context for things you may experience on the field. I.e. Serving as Senders Today or ….
- Unsure of who might fill some of these roles? Don’t worry or be discouraged. Ask God to bring the right people into your life.